Easter, fear, and an egg-shaped mass...

It is Monday at 9:15PM and today has been busy. I should be heading to bed. Instead I am thinking about Easter, and fear, and an egg-shaped mass.

Crazy, right? And yet, connected.

For Christians, Easter is the culmination of Lent. A time when we reflect on Jesus, His love, His sacrifice, and His ultimate gift.

But Easter is over, isn't it? The eggs have been found, new clothes worn to church, ham eaten. Another week has started. S.O.S.

Same old job. Same old debts. Same old aches and pains and illnesses. Same old worries and fears.

Our world has been programmed with fear. It is everywhere. We are reminded daily and from many sides that there is much to fear.  It is hard to see a way out.

We are conditioned from childhood to believe that fear will keep us safe. Fear will stop us from doing something that might hurt us or get us in trouble.

That is a lie. Fear only makes us afraid.

Fear calls to mind every negative possibility. Repeats each of them ad nauseum. Shouts each of them loudly to drown out hope. Tells us that if we don’t know exactly what will happen in a given situation, we should be afraid.

And while we have the ability to choose hope, we often choose fear instead.

An excellent Easter sermon from Pastor Chance reminded me that the disciples also chose fear when the man with whom they had lived for three years, the man who had healed people and performed miracles, the man who defied the established religious leaders, was gone. Dead. Buried in a tomb.

It is easy for us to chide the disciples for being afraid because we know how the story changes.

Perhaps, in their current space, the disciples are chiding us as well because, while we know how the story changes, while we know how the grief of Friday changes to the glory of Sunday, we go back to life on Monday like it is a nice story that will come in handy as the time to leave this earth approaches.

Easter is not about dying. It is about living, overcoming, not being bound by anything negative.

Easter is about looking fear in the face and saying, “I will not believe you.”

Easter is about acknowledging that fear is at work, then moving past it, pushing through it.

Easter is about understanding that fear knows our weaknesses, so we also need to know them and be vulnerable enough to acknowledge them so others can stand with us.

Two weeks ago, I had a mass the size of an egg removed from my abdomen. I was not afraid. Not during pre-op testing. Not on surgery day. Not while waiting for the pathology. I never doubted it would be anything but a benign anomaly.

Please do not think I am bragging.

I am not afraid of a misplaced egg in my belly. I am not afraid of cancer or debt or loneliness or death. I am not afraid of heights or snakes or spiders.

But I have nursed a debilitating fear for a long time. Thankfully, some beloved people know what it is, and know how to help me find wings.

My fear has been of writing words that do not matter.

My fear has been of sharing photographs or videos that do not move people.

So I share infrequently or not at all.

It doesn’t matter what lie I believed to conjure that fear, and there were lies.

One of the beautiful women in my Wellspring accountability group suggested I think of this mass as the tangible representation of that fear – and that now it is gone with no long-term effects.  

I LOVE that analogy!

I do not need to be prodded or cajoled, but encouragement is helpful, and this analogy resonates with me.

Yet there have been no words, no pictures, no videos.

And now I am, once again, on the other side of Easter. On the side where fear should have no power to make decisions. Where fear should not govern my actions, at least not if I want my relationship with Jesus to carry weight.

Mary Magdalene and her friend (also Mary) saw the tomb open when they went to anoint Jesus’ body with oil. The guy in the white garment (AKA an angel) said, “HAVE NO FEAR. The one you are looking for, the one who was beaten and killed and put here…he isn’t here anymore. He is risen. He has conquered death. And if you go to the place he told you about, he will be there to show you a new way to live and to share life with him.”

Easter isn’t about ham or jelly beans or new dresses.

Easter isn’t about great hymns and lilies.

Easter isn’t even just about what Jesus did.

Easter is about what I can do because of what Jesus did.

Easter is about embracing the ability to tell fear it can go back to the hell from whence it came.

Easter is about abundant life and the perfect love that casts out fear.

So, here are some words. To be followed by more words and images.

We will talk again soon…

Beth Painter is, among many other things, a writer, photographer, and motivational speaker. You can follow her on Facebook on the “Think Big focus small” page. Beth is available to speak to your group about how to make your dreams and desires come to life!