The thing that will make them ring...and why they don't

Dec 17

8 days away.

In my travels yesterday, I heard these phrases often: “Are you ready? Are you done shopping? Have your presents wrapped? Is your baking done?”

It is, theoretically, the most wonderful time of the year. You know, joy and merry and laughing all the way…

Do you see joy in Walmart? Do you see laughter in long check-out lines?

Yeah, not so much.

Here is another phrase repeated ad nauseum: Jesus is the Reason for the Season.

Is He though?

Christmas is my favorite holiday. I love the decorations and buying the perfect presents and having extended family meals. Celebrating the birth of Jesus is integral to my December celebration and to my life.

But we have made Christmas something (many things?) it isn’t.

Firstly, Jesus was not born on December 25^th. Look it up.

Secondly, there was no directive to remember or celebrate His birth. When He said, “Do this in remembrance of me,” it was not speaking to presents on December 25^th.

Is it okay that we do? ABSOLUTELY!

Is it okay that each year American Christians attempt to hijack this holiday season and disparage every other celebration? Absolutely NOT!

The Winter Solstice has been honored since people noticed daylight hours getting shorter, then rejoiced as they increased.

Our Jewish friends first celebrated Hanukkah in 165 BC to mark the rededication of the Second Temple in Jerusalem after revolting against their oppressors.

Traditionally, December 6 is St Nicholas Day in Europe. This is to commemorate the death of St. Nicholas of Myra who is renowned for being a protector of children.  Google can tell you how St Nicholas became Santa.

Let me say this again…I love Christmas. My family has traditions that bring us great joy. I hope your family does too.

But I believe our contorted version of Christmas is the largest contributor to this being a difficult season for folks. Pagans (non-Christians, not evil people) use pine trees during the Solstice celebration as a symbol of life. Christians adopted the tree as a symbol of eternal life. Hanukkah and St Nicholas Day are both times of gift-giving, which Christians do on December 25.

None of this is inherently wrong. If you bought me a gift, do not return it. I accept all presents.

But we miss the point.

Christmas is about connection and reconnection. Because I love Jesus, Christmas is about the connection I have with Him, the One who knew me long before I came to this earth. The One who came to this Earth to deepen that connection. Jesus is my source. You might call your maker Source or Universe or Allah or Mother Earth. And that’s okay. It is even okay if you still celebrate Christmas and hoot and holler over presents and put multigrain stuffing with nuts in your turkey (ICK).

Not having a connection with your source makes life hard. You came from somewhere and connection to that source is vital for a fulfilling life. It just is.

This holiday season can be difficult, even heart wrenching, without that alignment. No matter our beliefs, this time is about a new birth, a renewed vision, new and brighter days. That vision can connect us across every divide.

What if we each celebrated in whatever manner we choose that is not detrimental to others. Buy lots of gifts or a few. Eat figgy pudding…or not. Put an inflatable Santa on a Harley in the yard or choose a manger…or a menorah?

What if we stop demanding “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays,” which ignores history and alienates people? When you are denigrating people who choose “Happy Holidays” it does not encourage a desire to know more about Jesus. Seriously. It really doesn’t.

What if we sit quietly on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day and think about our connection to Jesus, to our source, to our family (blood or otherwise)? What if we turn our thoughts to rebirth, rededication, brighter days?

Oh my…there is so much more to discuss about how these holidays can enrich our lives.

For now, carry on in your own Christmas way and let these words play in your head…

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Soon the bells will start

And the thing that will make them ring is the carol that you sing right within your heart.

We will talk again soon,

BP

Beth Painter is, among many other things, a writer, photographer, and motivational speaker. You can follow her on Facebook on the “Think Big focus small” page. Beth is available to speak to your group about how to make your dreams and desires come to life!

Boxes everywhere...and the messy Nativity

Today is December 1, the first day of Advent.

My house is currently in a state of disarray as the preparations begin.

Are you also preparing?

Advent comes from the Greek word Parousia, a celebration of the Nativity of Christ and joyful anticipation of Christ’s return. The 12^th century abbot Bernard of Clairveaux introduced the idea that there is a third coming of Christ, which occurs every day in the heart of the believer.

I remember years when, in a state of despair and depression,  I wanted to go to sleep mid- November and wake up mid-January. Skip the holidays entirely. Avoid being reminded of the joy I thought everyone else was feeling.

Have you been there? Have you had a year when life was so heavy, so heartbreaking, so lonely that “the most wonderful time of the year” made you want to scream?

Unless you just learned to read, this is not your first time reading about how we miss the meaning of Christmas.

I do not believe we miss simply because we shop and wrap and bake and run run run. It isn’t the busyness. No, I believe the reason Christmas is hard for many folks is because the impact and sublime nature of Christmas are overlooked.

My Advent devotional this year is Low by John Pavlovitz.  It is my intent to share this month’s journey with all of you, and with as many friends as you will invite, by combining Mr. Pavlovitz’s perspective with my own. He reminds us that we often forget that Jesus was born to meet us in the worst places of our lives, not just in the twinkling decorations.

We have sterilized Christmas. We have made it about parties and lights and presents and dressing up for Christmas Eve .

Should the birth of the Savior be celebrated? Absolutely.

But the story we tell and retell is, at best, incomplete.

The replay we give is that Joseph and Mary traveled from Nazareth to Bethlehem for the census. The hotels were full, so she had the baby – quick and easy - in a nice wooden manger with soft straw. They had clean blankets for him. Then Wise Men came and gave him expensive gifts.

This is closer to the truth:

Mary rode a donkey 90 miles in her final week of pregnancy. She rode a DONKEY. For six days. Joseph walked beside her, most likely accompanied by others also traveling to their ancestors’ city. The path was up and down hills, through deserts and forested areas by the Jordan river. There were wild animals and packs of thieves. Mary and Joseph did this under threat of death from the Roman government, which was seeking to count the number of Palestinians Jews living in the Middle East at that time.

We know that Mary gives birth soon after arriving in Bethlehem. We do not know how long she had been in labor or how long she laid in the barn before Jesus was born.

We do know the pregnancy that started with a betrothed teenager conceiving God’s son ended in a dirty barn with the boy sleeping in the same trough from which pigs and cows ate.

THAT is closer to the reality of Christmas.

We make it all fancy, and, in doing so, bury the whole point. The Nativity is for the broken-hearted, for the infirmed, for the lonely, for the needy.

Jesus was born into messy circumstances and for messy circumstances. If you are slogging or weeping or worrying through life, the Nativity is for you.

If you want to wake up and find out it is mid-January because the heaviness is too much, the Nativity is for you.

If you are wealthy and lonely, or if you are on the lowest rung of society, the Nativity is for you.

If you don’t know if you even believe in God, the Nativity is for you.

Maybe you do not feel like this event we call Christmas is for you. But the Nativity is for you.

I have always loved Christmas - decorations and giving presents and songs and cookies and getting presents and gatherings. I still do. There is no shame in that.

In the past few years, I have also grown to truly love the Nativity and all it means.

Please join me over the next four weeks to look at the Nativity.

Do that especially if you don’t feel like it.

The Nativity was messy and challenging. Life can be too. But there is HOPE.

We will talk again soon,

BP

Beth Painter is, among many other things, a writer, photographer, and motivational speaker. You can follow her on Facebook on the “Think Big focus small” page. Beth is available to speak to your group about how to make your dreams and desires come to life!

A. Joanne, U. John... and 70 years

It is time for bed, but only right to close the day with a word about this beloved couple on their 70^th anniversary.

The picture was taken on their honeymoon, the start of a new journey.

I am moved by those young, beautiful faces. John was 23. Joanne, my mother’s older sister, was 20. Dressed to the nines in NYC, full of excitement and anticipating life together.

Life brought them nine babies and the loss of parents, siblings, and two of htose precious babies. It brought a successful business built on hard-work, part-time side jobs, and time away from the kids.  It brought a large extended family, loyal friends, a house…a home.

The fruits of their 58 years together here - steadfast love, commitment to each other, generosity with money, time, and spirit gifted to family and friends - continue to be seen and felt.

On the 7th anniversary they have celebrated together in heaven, I hope they know how far the ripples have spread.

I hope the joys of life together were deeper because they chatted about them before falling asleep. I hope the sorrows were manageable because they held each other’s hands when sleep wouldn't come.

I hope they had laughs and inside jokes and delights none of us ever knew. I know they continue to laugh together at new jokes and old memories.

I hope my ripples spread like theirs.

I hope they hear me whispering that my love and respect for them grows as the years pass, and I still watch meteors with a smile. 

I hope you are blessed by the love and influence of people like them. I hope you tell them.

Thanks, A. Joanne & U. John. Happy Anniversary!!

We will talk again soon…

BP

Two lights that shine as one
Morning glory and midnight sun
Time we've learned to sail above
Time won't change the meaning of one love
Ageless and ever evergreen

Beth Painter is, among many other things, a writer, photographer, and motivational speaker. You can follow her on Facebook on the “Think Big focus small” page. Beth is available to speak to your group about how to make your dreams and desires come to life!

#WEARE...not late bloomers

The universe often provides delightful surprises for me. Is that true for you?

This appeared in one of our flower gardens while we were in the Happy Valley last weekend. The surprise is not that I didn’t plant sunflowers – our bird friends have been prolific sowers of tomatoes, corn, and flowers. According to the calendar, however, sunflower season peaked several weeks ago.

Some might call it a late bloomer, but I don’t.
More about that in a bit.

Linda (with whom I share a home) won two PSU/Pitt football tickets, two nights’ lodging, and a shopping spree at Lion’s Pride, a State College gift shop. WOO HOO!!!
A 52-hour whirlwind of women’s volleyball, tailgates, a storm delay, football in intermittent rain, shopping, driving around campus, pictures at the Lion statue, and 2.5 hours of driving on each end.
The Creamery line was half a block long, so no ice cream, but we did bring stickies home.
It was a fun, exhausting weekend. Sunday evening, the sunflowers helped me see the experience in a different way.

Do you have a regret you have carried for years? A rock pressing on your chest that has been there so long it feels like a part of your anatomy? One that has been anchored by the opinions of others?

Three months after graduating high school, I attended my first class at Penn State. It was the only school to which I applied, and I declined to attend any campus other than University Park. It was the only place I wanted to be. After 4+ years, I left without a degree. I felt lots of ways about that, including numb. That is a story for another day.

Eventually, I earned a B.S. from Geneva College and a M.S. from Chatham University. Neither brought a sense of accomplishment.

The rock pressed on.

Two degrees could not silence the words that continued to ring in my head from decades before. “Penn State was a waste of time and money…Why didn’t you succeed when you are so smart?...What will your life be?...Let’s hope you are a late bloomer!”

So much energy has been spent trying to hide this “failure.” While I am a Penn Stater to the marrow, it was hard to visit. Hard to talk about my time there with any depth. Hard to interact with some of my dearest friends because they graduated and I didn’t.

Do you have a similar experience? Something you hope people will never find out about you?

A few weeks ago, six hours of my time and labor was invested in pulling weeds, adding mulch, and straightening the bricks in this flower bed. On Sunday evening, the sunflowers paid an enlightening dividend.

They aren’t late. They bloomed as soon as the weeds were gone, and they could feel the sun.

I understand.

I have been cleaning weeds out of my head and my spirit. Not overnight.  Not without the help of doctors and a wonderful therapist and faithful friends and family. Often with one step up and two steps back. It has resulted in subtle growth that doesn’t always show itself immediately.

Seeing the new sunflowers made me realize my rock is gone. I did not carry it around all weekend. It did not outweigh the fun. The weeds have been pulled and are on the burn pile. My spirit is lighter and faces the sun.

One day I will have a degree from Penn State, because I want to - not because I need to prove anything to anyone.

For now, it is enough to know I am not a late bloomer.

How about you? Will you join me? Pull the weeds. Lose the rock. Enjoy the sun.

We will talk again soon.

Beth





Beth Painter is, among many other things, a writer, photographer, and motivational speaker. You can follow her on Facebook on the “Think Big focus small” page. Beth is available to speak to your group about how to make your dreams and desires come to life!