The thing that will make them ring...and why they don't

Dec 17

8 days away.

In my travels yesterday, I heard these phrases often: “Are you ready? Are you done shopping? Have your presents wrapped? Is your baking done?”

It is, theoretically, the most wonderful time of the year. You know, joy and merry and laughing all the way…

Do you see joy in Walmart? Do you see laughter in long check-out lines?

Yeah, not so much.

Here is another phrase repeated ad nauseum: Jesus is the Reason for the Season.

Is He though?

Christmas is my favorite holiday. I love the decorations and buying the perfect presents and having extended family meals. Celebrating the birth of Jesus is integral to my December celebration and to my life.

But we have made Christmas something (many things?) it isn’t.

Firstly, Jesus was not born on December 25^th. Look it up.

Secondly, there was no directive to remember or celebrate His birth. When He said, “Do this in remembrance of me,” it was not speaking to presents on December 25^th.

Is it okay that we do? ABSOLUTELY!

Is it okay that each year American Christians attempt to hijack this holiday season and disparage every other celebration? Absolutely NOT!

The Winter Solstice has been honored since people noticed daylight hours getting shorter, then rejoiced as they increased.

Our Jewish friends first celebrated Hanukkah in 165 BC to mark the rededication of the Second Temple in Jerusalem after revolting against their oppressors.

Traditionally, December 6 is St Nicholas Day in Europe. This is to commemorate the death of St. Nicholas of Myra who is renowned for being a protector of children.  Google can tell you how St Nicholas became Santa.

Let me say this again…I love Christmas. My family has traditions that bring us great joy. I hope your family does too.

But I believe our contorted version of Christmas is the largest contributor to this being a difficult season for folks. Pagans (non-Christians, not evil people) use pine trees during the Solstice celebration as a symbol of life. Christians adopted the tree as a symbol of eternal life. Hanukkah and St Nicholas Day are both times of gift-giving, which Christians do on December 25.

None of this is inherently wrong. If you bought me a gift, do not return it. I accept all presents.

But we miss the point.

Christmas is about connection and reconnection. Because I love Jesus, Christmas is about the connection I have with Him, the One who knew me long before I came to this earth. The One who came to this Earth to deepen that connection. Jesus is my source. You might call your maker Source or Universe or Allah or Mother Earth. And that’s okay. It is even okay if you still celebrate Christmas and hoot and holler over presents and put multigrain stuffing with nuts in your turkey (ICK).

Not having a connection with your source makes life hard. You came from somewhere and connection to that source is vital for a fulfilling life. It just is.

This holiday season can be difficult, even heart wrenching, without that alignment. No matter our beliefs, this time is about a new birth, a renewed vision, new and brighter days. That vision can connect us across every divide.

What if we each celebrated in whatever manner we choose that is not detrimental to others. Buy lots of gifts or a few. Eat figgy pudding…or not. Put an inflatable Santa on a Harley in the yard or choose a manger…or a menorah?

What if we stop demanding “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays,” which ignores history and alienates people? When you are denigrating people who choose “Happy Holidays” it does not encourage a desire to know more about Jesus. Seriously. It really doesn’t.

What if we sit quietly on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day and think about our connection to Jesus, to our source, to our family (blood or otherwise)? What if we turn our thoughts to rebirth, rededication, brighter days?

Oh my…there is so much more to discuss about how these holidays can enrich our lives.

For now, carry on in your own Christmas way and let these words play in your head…

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Soon the bells will start

And the thing that will make them ring is the carol that you sing right within your heart.

We will talk again soon,

BP

Beth Painter is, among many other things, a writer, photographer, and motivational speaker. You can follow her on Facebook on the “Think Big focus small” page. Beth is available to speak to your group about how to make your dreams and desires come to life!

Boxes everywhere...and the messy Nativity

Today is December 1, the first day of Advent.

My house is currently in a state of disarray as the preparations begin.

Are you also preparing?

Advent comes from the Greek word Parousia, a celebration of the Nativity of Christ and joyful anticipation of Christ’s return. The 12^th century abbot Bernard of Clairveaux introduced the idea that there is a third coming of Christ, which occurs every day in the heart of the believer.

I remember years when, in a state of despair and depression,  I wanted to go to sleep mid- November and wake up mid-January. Skip the holidays entirely. Avoid being reminded of the joy I thought everyone else was feeling.

Have you been there? Have you had a year when life was so heavy, so heartbreaking, so lonely that “the most wonderful time of the year” made you want to scream?

Unless you just learned to read, this is not your first time reading about how we miss the meaning of Christmas.

I do not believe we miss simply because we shop and wrap and bake and run run run. It isn’t the busyness. No, I believe the reason Christmas is hard for many folks is because the impact and sublime nature of Christmas are overlooked.

My Advent devotional this year is Low by John Pavlovitz.  It is my intent to share this month’s journey with all of you, and with as many friends as you will invite, by combining Mr. Pavlovitz’s perspective with my own. He reminds us that we often forget that Jesus was born to meet us in the worst places of our lives, not just in the twinkling decorations.

We have sterilized Christmas. We have made it about parties and lights and presents and dressing up for Christmas Eve .

Should the birth of the Savior be celebrated? Absolutely.

But the story we tell and retell is, at best, incomplete.

The replay we give is that Joseph and Mary traveled from Nazareth to Bethlehem for the census. The hotels were full, so she had the baby – quick and easy - in a nice wooden manger with soft straw. They had clean blankets for him. Then Wise Men came and gave him expensive gifts.

This is closer to the truth:

Mary rode a donkey 90 miles in her final week of pregnancy. She rode a DONKEY. For six days. Joseph walked beside her, most likely accompanied by others also traveling to their ancestors’ city. The path was up and down hills, through deserts and forested areas by the Jordan river. There were wild animals and packs of thieves. Mary and Joseph did this under threat of death from the Roman government, which was seeking to count the number of Palestinians Jews living in the Middle East at that time.

We know that Mary gives birth soon after arriving in Bethlehem. We do not know how long she had been in labor or how long she laid in the barn before Jesus was born.

We do know the pregnancy that started with a betrothed teenager conceiving God’s son ended in a dirty barn with the boy sleeping in the same trough from which pigs and cows ate.

THAT is closer to the reality of Christmas.

We make it all fancy, and, in doing so, bury the whole point. The Nativity is for the broken-hearted, for the infirmed, for the lonely, for the needy.

Jesus was born into messy circumstances and for messy circumstances. If you are slogging or weeping or worrying through life, the Nativity is for you.

If you want to wake up and find out it is mid-January because the heaviness is too much, the Nativity is for you.

If you are wealthy and lonely, or if you are on the lowest rung of society, the Nativity is for you.

If you don’t know if you even believe in God, the Nativity is for you.

Maybe you do not feel like this event we call Christmas is for you. But the Nativity is for you.

I have always loved Christmas - decorations and giving presents and songs and cookies and getting presents and gatherings. I still do. There is no shame in that.

In the past few years, I have also grown to truly love the Nativity and all it means.

Please join me over the next four weeks to look at the Nativity.

Do that especially if you don’t feel like it.

The Nativity was messy and challenging. Life can be too. But there is HOPE.

We will talk again soon,

BP

Beth Painter is, among many other things, a writer, photographer, and motivational speaker. You can follow her on Facebook on the “Think Big focus small” page. Beth is available to speak to your group about how to make your dreams and desires come to life!

A. Joanne, U. John... and 70 years

It is time for bed, but only right to close the day with a word about this beloved couple on their 70^th anniversary.

The picture was taken on their honeymoon, the start of a new journey.

I am moved by those young, beautiful faces. John was 23. Joanne, my mother’s older sister, was 20. Dressed to the nines in NYC, full of excitement and anticipating life together.

Life brought them nine babies and the loss of parents, siblings, and two of htose precious babies. It brought a successful business built on hard-work, part-time side jobs, and time away from the kids.  It brought a large extended family, loyal friends, a house…a home.

The fruits of their 58 years together here - steadfast love, commitment to each other, generosity with money, time, and spirit gifted to family and friends - continue to be seen and felt.

On the 7th anniversary they have celebrated together in heaven, I hope they know how far the ripples have spread.

I hope the joys of life together were deeper because they chatted about them before falling asleep. I hope the sorrows were manageable because they held each other’s hands when sleep wouldn't come.

I hope they had laughs and inside jokes and delights none of us ever knew. I know they continue to laugh together at new jokes and old memories.

I hope my ripples spread like theirs.

I hope they hear me whispering that my love and respect for them grows as the years pass, and I still watch meteors with a smile. 

I hope you are blessed by the love and influence of people like them. I hope you tell them.

Thanks, A. Joanne & U. John. Happy Anniversary!!

We will talk again soon…

BP

Two lights that shine as one
Morning glory and midnight sun
Time we've learned to sail above
Time won't change the meaning of one love
Ageless and ever evergreen

Beth Painter is, among many other things, a writer, photographer, and motivational speaker. You can follow her on Facebook on the “Think Big focus small” page. Beth is available to speak to your group about how to make your dreams and desires come to life!

#WEARE...not late bloomers

The universe often provides delightful surprises for me. Is that true for you?

This appeared in one of our flower gardens while we were in the Happy Valley last weekend. The surprise is not that I didn’t plant sunflowers – our bird friends have been prolific sowers of tomatoes, corn, and flowers. According to the calendar, however, sunflower season peaked several weeks ago.

Some might call it a late bloomer, but I don’t.
More about that in a bit.

Linda (with whom I share a home) won two PSU/Pitt football tickets, two nights’ lodging, and a shopping spree at Lion’s Pride, a State College gift shop. WOO HOO!!!
A 52-hour whirlwind of women’s volleyball, tailgates, a storm delay, football in intermittent rain, shopping, driving around campus, pictures at the Lion statue, and 2.5 hours of driving on each end.
The Creamery line was half a block long, so no ice cream, but we did bring stickies home.
It was a fun, exhausting weekend. Sunday evening, the sunflowers helped me see the experience in a different way.

Do you have a regret you have carried for years? A rock pressing on your chest that has been there so long it feels like a part of your anatomy? One that has been anchored by the opinions of others?

Three months after graduating high school, I attended my first class at Penn State. It was the only school to which I applied, and I declined to attend any campus other than University Park. It was the only place I wanted to be. After 4+ years, I left without a degree. I felt lots of ways about that, including numb. That is a story for another day.

Eventually, I earned a B.S. from Geneva College and a M.S. from Chatham University. Neither brought a sense of accomplishment.

The rock pressed on.

Two degrees could not silence the words that continued to ring in my head from decades before. “Penn State was a waste of time and money…Why didn’t you succeed when you are so smart?...What will your life be?...Let’s hope you are a late bloomer!”

So much energy has been spent trying to hide this “failure.” While I am a Penn Stater to the marrow, it was hard to visit. Hard to talk about my time there with any depth. Hard to interact with some of my dearest friends because they graduated and I didn’t.

Do you have a similar experience? Something you hope people will never find out about you?

A few weeks ago, six hours of my time and labor was invested in pulling weeds, adding mulch, and straightening the bricks in this flower bed. On Sunday evening, the sunflowers paid an enlightening dividend.

They aren’t late. They bloomed as soon as the weeds were gone, and they could feel the sun.

I understand.

I have been cleaning weeds out of my head and my spirit. Not overnight.  Not without the help of doctors and a wonderful therapist and faithful friends and family. Often with one step up and two steps back. It has resulted in subtle growth that doesn’t always show itself immediately.

Seeing the new sunflowers made me realize my rock is gone. I did not carry it around all weekend. It did not outweigh the fun. The weeds have been pulled and are on the burn pile. My spirit is lighter and faces the sun.

One day I will have a degree from Penn State, because I want to - not because I need to prove anything to anyone.

For now, it is enough to know I am not a late bloomer.

How about you? Will you join me? Pull the weeds. Lose the rock. Enjoy the sun.

We will talk again soon.

Beth





Beth Painter is, among many other things, a writer, photographer, and motivational speaker. You can follow her on Facebook on the “Think Big focus small” page. Beth is available to speak to your group about how to make your dreams and desires come to life!

Fear, checklists, and control...

Each spring, I am blessed to have great seasonal work. A few hours each week, some extra cushion. I have used it for house projects or unexpected expenses. Sometimes, it is play money.

This year I have specific plans for the money, so I took as many hours as the company would give me.

And I have been on a tear, teaching two classes – which I love – working lots of seasonal hours, and keeping up with all the stuff of life, with its surprises and demands.

Early in April, a couple tasks were overlooked, so I decided a daily list was in order.

Are you like me? I am REALLY good at making a list. Really good.
But in the Land of A.D.D., where all things seem possible, my list looks like this:

• Schoolwork
• Laundry
• Mail packages
• Pick up scripts
• Clean garage and yard and porch
• Vacuum, clean, and reorganize LR/DR/Kitchen/BR/Office/Laundry room
• Learn Photoshop

Go ahead. You can laugh. Or you can say, “I feel THAT!”

Here is my list from Monday.

Yes, I have been writing down almost everything. No mega tasks, no jobs only Wonder Woman could complete in one day. Just the multitude of items that need to be crossed off that day. And it feels good.

First lesson learned.

I don’t do well sitting at a desk for long periods. An old table-ish thingy has been in the garage for years. It is the perfect height to allow me to work standing up. I ordered wheels so I wouldn’t be stuck in one place. The plan was to paint it, put wheels on so I wouldn't be confined to one place, and bring it in.

I get stuck on spots like this. Often. With blogs or photos or furniture or or or…

It needs to be how I envision it, or it stays in my computer or my garage or my head.

Two weeks ago, I put the wheels on, wiped it down, and moved this non-matching piece of furniture in the house. Big girl.

Guess what? The house is still standing. The matching furniture police have not arrived at my door. And it has been much easier to maintain my focus for long hours. Go figure.

Second lesson learned.

The plans for the seasonal earnings are exciting to me! Mostly it is for my speaking/blogging business. Like the table-ish thingy, I have been waiting to get it JUST right, instead of simply getting it going. This money will give me a boost.

At the same time, I feel the need to cover as many bases as I can before investing in something that may not be “essential.”  I deliberate and shop and research ad nauseum before pulling the trigger.

Maybe you have done that? You start out wondering if you should upgrade to the Samsung S6 and by the time you decide, the S8 is out. Yeah, you know what I mean.

I have made a spreadsheet and calculated earnings and listed every possible obligation I might have.
I have accepted as many hours as I can get, while teaching two classes, because I want to be certain everything will be okay.

The plans I have are not extreme by any means. I just want to be sure.

Last week I scheduled my car inspection two months early. WHAT???? I am usually being squeezed in the last week of the month. But I wanted to check that off my “covered” list.

When my car guy called shortly after my scheduled appointment, I thought it had to be good news.

   “Is my car done??”
   “Why do you want it inspected now when it isn’t due until September?”
   “No, it’s due in June.”
   “No, Beth, it’s due in September. So yes, your car is done.”

I was disappointed. My great plan had been thwarted. My proactivity had been for naught. And, of course, the questions started.

My car is in great shape. It isn’t old or high in mileage. But still…I wanted to be sure.

Then came that inner voice. You might call it Spirit or Source or Universe or intuition. I call it God along with the great number of folks who love me from that side.

   G: Why are you concerned, Beth?
   B: I want to be sure I have everything covered, that my car doesn’t need anything.
   G: Yes, that is clear. But, why?
   B: I don’t understand the question.
   G: Are you going to wait a few MORE months until everything is certain?
   B: That seems like a trick question…
   G: So, in July, you will be sure?
   B: …
   G: Well?
   B: I’ll get back to you…

I have been working two full time jobs for a month. Nothing wrong with that.

I have been making lists and checking things off so nothing is missed, and have been meeting my other obligations. Nothing wrong with that.

I have been ciphering and planning as if my life and my bank account are constrained by what I can see in front of my face right this minute. Nothing wrong…

Oops.

   B: I’m back. I knew it was a trick question.
   G: It wasn’t. You simply need to decide what you believe.

Ouch.

What do I believe? Really. Not profess – believe.

Do I believe that when I get intuition, signs, and guidance about big and little things every day, the God who created me won’t be present when I am making this decision? Like I might spend money when He is on break and He won’t have a chance to stop me? Like He hasn’t been privy to this plan all along?

Do I believe that Jesus came to bring abundance but that what I can see today is the totality of my potential for income, for creativity, for LIFE?

Do I believe that God’s heart is for me, for all of me, for every part of me, or that He just watches and laughs and shoots down lightning bolts?Jesus told the Disciples that they had the same power He had.
The same power that raised Christ from the dead is in me. Do I believe that? Do I?

I say I do.

Then I go over the edge trying to control this and being afraid when I can’t.

Third lesson learned.

What do you try to control out of fear?

Yes, I said fear. A need to control comes directly from fear. Not responsibility, not planning, not proactivity. All of those are good, but when they are properly aligned, they do not lead to a fierce need to control.

So, what do I believe?

Who is better to guide my life?  Me, who doesn’t know when her car needs to be inspected? Me on my own? Or me along with the Creator who grew me from an egg, holds the planet in alignment, replenishes our food, controls the wind, and wants to help me tap into all of that?

To be sure, the God I love does not want to control. It is a collaboration.

What is control anyway? A nebulous concept.

The only things I can control are my thoughts and who is in my ear. Funny thing...that is all I need to control.

Fourth lesson learned.

Watch for my dream to grow. God and I are on it. No Fear.

We will talk again soon…

Beth Painter is, among many other things, a writer, photographer, and motivational speaker. You can follow her on Facebook on the “Think Big focus small” page. Beth is available to speak to your group about how to make your dreams and desires come to life!

A foot bath, orange cheese balls, and The Masters

Several weeks ago, a friend suggested we spend time together getting a foot detox at a local spa. I am all about detoxing, so sure.

As my feet soaked, I studied the water and a chart explaining what the different colors and floating substances indicated. And I was surprised.

It is no secret we are exposed to a lot of toxins daily. What we put on our skin and in our mouths, the products we use to clean our homes and our clothes, the abundance of indoor recycled air we breathe – all tainted by poisons, many of which we cannot identify.

I know that. You do too.

But the reality has greater impact when you see it floating in water at your feet…

Rather startling, right? 

On the drive home, we chatted about the process and results. We talked about being more mindful of the things to which we expose ourselves. Then, we moved on. I mean, how much can you talk about hidden toxins?

Little did I know there was more to the topic.

The Masters is my favorite golf tournament of the year. I watch golf often, but The Masters is special. This year, the tournament went down to the final hole. I was on my feet most of the afternoon cheering on two of my favorites as they tried to catch the leader.

I didn’t like the leader. I was unhappy when he won. My guys fought hard, but the winner met every challenge.

I was grumpy when he won. GRUMPY. I had my reasons, too. Those reasons were affirmed by several golf writers after the tournament. I read every article with that theme and said YEAH!

Thursday of that week I was thinking about golf, in general, and suddenly I sensed God, who is the Source of everything good in me, asking why I was still irritated over someone winning a golf tournament when it had zero effect on my life.

“I’m not irritated.”

“You are.”

“I wanted one of the other two to win.”

“Maybe. But, mostly, you didn’t want that guy to win. Why?”

“Dunno”

“Uh huh. How does this resonate with you? You think that mistakes in his past should be held him now? That family problems should be publicly aired? That what you have decided about his appearance and demeanor, when you have never seen him in person and certainly do not know him, makes him unworthy of being a Masters’ winner?”

And for the second time in a week, I was shocked at the toxins pouring out of me.

That isn’t me. At least I believe it isn’t.  Nice Christian woman. Reads her Bible every day. Wants to be like Jesus.

But there it was, as convicting as the foot bath water. And far uglier.

Two weeks later, I cannot point to a certain feeling or occurrence that set me on a rant that day. But that is often the case, isn’t it?

Sometimes I eat orange cheese balls, knowing full well there is nothing but toxins in them.

Sometimes I have orange cheese ball thoughts – listening to negative words about me from people, abiding negative words about others, ruminating on things over which I have no control, being aggravated by social media posts or politics. Nothing but toxins.

But, it is so easy. You know it is.

I don’t want to prepare a salad. Orange cheese balls!

I know it is too late to eat but I am watching television and I’m hungry. Orange cheese balls!

I drove for several miles behind a left-lane driver going the speed limit and a right-lane driver going slower. And three hours later, I still don’t feel like letting it go. Orange cheese balls!

I am golfing with a group of people who are gossiping about numerous people, but I don’t want them to think I am Miss Righteous. I don’t join in, but I don’t disagree. Orange cheese balls!

I have a vision for my life, my work, my time. I think about it and dream about it many times each day. But when others want to tell me it is foolish, or when others want to be critical of my choices, I let them talk. And it makes a mark.

Orange cheese balls.

Toxins pouring into my body and my mind every day. I am aware of them. But I think I make them bounce off, avoid the damage. Or I am simply not interested, in that moment, in actively choosing differently.

I tell myself a few orange cheese balls won’t hurt, forgetting that they accumulate, forgetting that sometimes I do not recognize them.

Then they come spilling out from my feet, from my mouth, in my actions.                      

Sometimes it simply makes me aware.                                                                                        Sometimes it makes a mess that isn’t resolved by emptying a tub of water.

How about you? Am I alone in this?

Each time I learn a little bit more. A step forward…and miles to go.

And I am always thankful for the folks who remain faithful along the path.

We will talk again soon…

Beth Painter is, among many other things, a writer, photographer, and motivational speaker. You can follow her on Facebook on the “Think Big focus small” page. Beth is available to speak to your group about how to make your dreams and desires come to life!

Easter, fear, and an egg-shaped mass...

It is Monday at 9:15PM and today has been busy. I should be heading to bed. Instead I am thinking about Easter, and fear, and an egg-shaped mass.

Crazy, right? And yet, connected.

For Christians, Easter is the culmination of Lent. A time when we reflect on Jesus, His love, His sacrifice, and His ultimate gift.

But Easter is over, isn't it? The eggs have been found, new clothes worn to church, ham eaten. Another week has started. S.O.S.

Same old job. Same old debts. Same old aches and pains and illnesses. Same old worries and fears.

Our world has been programmed with fear. It is everywhere. We are reminded daily and from many sides that there is much to fear.  It is hard to see a way out.

We are conditioned from childhood to believe that fear will keep us safe. Fear will stop us from doing something that might hurt us or get us in trouble.

That is a lie. Fear only makes us afraid.

Fear calls to mind every negative possibility. Repeats each of them ad nauseum. Shouts each of them loudly to drown out hope. Tells us that if we don’t know exactly what will happen in a given situation, we should be afraid.

And while we have the ability to choose hope, we often choose fear instead.

An excellent Easter sermon from Pastor Chance reminded me that the disciples also chose fear when the man with whom they had lived for three years, the man who had healed people and performed miracles, the man who defied the established religious leaders, was gone. Dead. Buried in a tomb.

It is easy for us to chide the disciples for being afraid because we know how the story changes.

Perhaps, in their current space, the disciples are chiding us as well because, while we know how the story changes, while we know how the grief of Friday changes to the glory of Sunday, we go back to life on Monday like it is a nice story that will come in handy as the time to leave this earth approaches.

Easter is not about dying. It is about living, overcoming, not being bound by anything negative.

Easter is about looking fear in the face and saying, “I will not believe you.”

Easter is about acknowledging that fear is at work, then moving past it, pushing through it.

Easter is about understanding that fear knows our weaknesses, so we also need to know them and be vulnerable enough to acknowledge them so others can stand with us.

Two weeks ago, I had a mass the size of an egg removed from my abdomen. I was not afraid. Not during pre-op testing. Not on surgery day. Not while waiting for the pathology. I never doubted it would be anything but a benign anomaly.

Please do not think I am bragging.

I am not afraid of a misplaced egg in my belly. I am not afraid of cancer or debt or loneliness or death. I am not afraid of heights or snakes or spiders.

But I have nursed a debilitating fear for a long time. Thankfully, some beloved people know what it is, and know how to help me find wings.

My fear has been of writing words that do not matter.

My fear has been of sharing photographs or videos that do not move people.

So I share infrequently or not at all.

It doesn’t matter what lie I believed to conjure that fear, and there were lies.

One of the beautiful women in my Wellspring accountability group suggested I think of this mass as the tangible representation of that fear – and that now it is gone with no long-term effects.  

I LOVE that analogy!

I do not need to be prodded or cajoled, but encouragement is helpful, and this analogy resonates with me.

Yet there have been no words, no pictures, no videos.

And now I am, once again, on the other side of Easter. On the side where fear should have no power to make decisions. Where fear should not govern my actions, at least not if I want my relationship with Jesus to carry weight.

Mary Magdalene and her friend (also Mary) saw the tomb open when they went to anoint Jesus’ body with oil. The guy in the white garment (AKA an angel) said, “HAVE NO FEAR. The one you are looking for, the one who was beaten and killed and put here…he isn’t here anymore. He is risen. He has conquered death. And if you go to the place he told you about, he will be there to show you a new way to live and to share life with him.”

Easter isn’t about ham or jelly beans or new dresses.

Easter isn’t about great hymns and lilies.

Easter isn’t even just about what Jesus did.

Easter is about what I can do because of what Jesus did.

Easter is about embracing the ability to tell fear it can go back to the hell from whence it came.

Easter is about abundant life and the perfect love that casts out fear.

So, here are some words. To be followed by more words and images.

We will talk again soon…

Beth Painter is, among many other things, a writer, photographer, and motivational speaker. You can follow her on Facebook on the “Think Big focus small” page. Beth is available to speak to your group about how to make your dreams and desires come to life!

This Is Us...and this is me

Are you like me on Tuesday nights at 9:59? Are you staring at the television and saying, “WHAT does THAT mean?” Do you go to bed thinking about what This Is Us just revealed?

Watching This Is Us is like building a jigsaw puzzle –  except there is no box with a picture and you only have access to a few pieces at a time.

The show is wonderfully written and acted. It is touching and maddening. You will cry and wonder why you watch it and wait impatiently for next Tuesday.                                                          Basically, it functions a lot like life.

I had the privilege of attending a Wellspring* event last week. It was an intense and enlightening experience that opened doors I did not know existed and offered provocative takeaways. And I thought about This Is Us.

Our lives are a lot like This Is Us. We do not have a picture of the finished product until, well, we are finished here. 

No one gives us all the outside pieces or all the pieces that look like sky or a house or train...or a career or our children or significant relationships.

In my mind, I see the writers of This Is Us standing at a huge chalkboard. There is a configuration that resembles an ancestry chart or a mathematical explanation of how passenger jets can fly. There are notes about what viewers already know and when that was revealed and what else is connected and when will viewers see that and where it all leads.

Every show makes a few connections and inspires more questions. 

Okay, there’s the dog, but how…? Wait, Kevin’s love is Sophie, whom we have never seen? No, we did see her early on, but didn’t make any connection. Why is Rebecca with Miguel?

There is continuity of emotions but not events. Just because this week’s show left on in one place does not mean next week’s show will start with that. There is a pattern, but it is not linear or always visible.

There is one question slowly being answered, but that process has uncovered details we didn’t even know we needed.

Just like life.

One of my takeaways from Wellspring is that we can be guided by emotional thinking or rational thinking.  No surprise there, right? 

Folks who think rationally often believe it is the better way to process information and solve problems because emotional thinkers are swayed by feelings, which cannot be trusted. True that.

Here is the Yabbit…rational thinkers count on their conclusions being driven by beliefs that are true. But that is not always the case.

We use language that is categorically untrue. I know, I know…few people actually believe that the sun “rises and sets” or Jesus was born on December 25^th or crossing your eyes will eventually become a permanent condition.

But there are beliefs each of us trust that are false. Those beliefs have caused hatred that we aim at other people, and hatred we aim at ourselves.

There are beliefs we learned because our parents believed them. We will never be anything but poor. No one in our family is smart enough for college. Girls don’t play with trucks and boys don’t play with dolls.

Beliefs might come from a word put on us. You are too fat/too skinny/stupid/always late/too talkative/ too shy.

Beliefs might come out of fear or hurt or tragedy. Or they can come out of the way our parents treated each other, the pattern of their marriage or divorce, the way they treated us.

Even if I never name my beliefs, they affect every relationship I have. I look at someone’s behavior and something embedded in my brain says, “When Mom did that, it meant ___, so it must mean ___ now.”

“Dad said ___ and did ___ and I thought he loved me, but then he left.”

Are these thoughts in the front of my brain? No. Of course not.

Do they affect my behavior? Yes. A lot.

I remember being a kid and learning the fine art of cleaning my room by pushing everything under the bed. Every Saturday when Mom said, “Look how tidy your room is!” I thought she did not know my secret. Then, one day, I needed something that was under the bed and she had the nerve to make me pull all the stuff out and go through the pile by myself!                    

Decades later, I am still fastidious about putting items in their designated place. I learned that hiding things might look good temporarily, but it isn’t a solution.

Well, I learned that about stuff.

Not always about feelings or beliefs.

There is another important way our beliefs cloud our judgment.                                                    

We played football and baseball in a yard that was so big. Until we grew up.                             

Circus peanuts and wax saucers with juice inside were so good. Until we grew up.            

Sleeping outside on a sleeping bag and giggling half the night was fun. Until we grew up.

It would be crazy to go back and look at that yard and decide it must have been bigger years ago. Grab a bag of circus peanuts and a sleeping bag and sleep outside tonight, then tell me tomorrow that it was exactly like you remembered.

Of course, it will not be. You have grown up. Your perspective has changed. Some of your beliefs have changed. And some haven’t.

The Wellspring retreat was a high-level overview of unpacking and examining what lifts my heart and blocks my heart.

No one likes to unpack a suitcase. It is even worse than packing because the anticipation of fun is gone.

But you can’t just not unpack. Even if you are travelling again soon, you don’t want the same stinky clothes.

Unpacking thoughts and beliefs is even less fun. You might cry. You might find beliefs that are tangled with hurts and fears. You might find things that are stinky. You might find the hurts you have in life today are more tied to a fear from decades ago than they are to the person you are holding responsible. You might find triggers you didn’t know existed. 

                                            

UGH. Can’t I just leave it in there and buy a new suitcase?  

Sure. 

You can also live by stories that are not true and find new friends or a new significant other every time you are met with confrontation. 

This is not to suggest a life filled with deep and constant introspection and contemplation. Not at all. 

You see, life realy is a lot like This Is Us. Every day I get different, random pieces. I am not sure where they fit and I do not have the final picture. Some days I laugh, some days I cry.

But if I am willing to unpack the suitcase so I have clean clothes and necessary accessories, the journey can be fulfilling and covered with love for me and the people traveling with me.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. (1 Corinthians 13:11-12)

*wellspringgroup.org

Beth Painter is, among many other things, a writer, photographer, and motivational speaker. You can follow her on Facebook on the “Think Big focus small” page. Beth is available to speak to your group about how to make your dreams and desires come to life!

Last week, my friend OJ McDuffie created a "What's Up" challenge to his friends. The goal is to give an enthusiastic greeting to at least 5 strangers or people who are different from me each day.

Today, my friend Ruth Means-Greenert tagged me in the 8 Day Bible Challenge.

I often cringe at Facebook "challenges" then scroll by. But these are excellent reminders to me of what really matters...growing closer to our amazing and loving God and sharing that love with other people.

Certainly many activities are important. But a day that is so consumed with worklaundrycleaninggroceryshoppingetcetc that I don't have quiet time and room for spontanoeous kindness leaves my heart heavy.
We race from home to work then back again to get more done get more done get more done.
We grumble about grocery store lines, completely ignore the cashier, rush past the elderly man who could use a hand getting his groceries in the car or returning his cart.
We draw lines and create barriers based on economic, social, or political differences.
We argue about which candidate will make our lives better and improve our country.

And often we forget that nothing changes until we do...

When the Pharisees heard how he had bested the Sadducees, they gathered their forces for an assault. One of their religion scholars spoke for them, posing a question they hoped would show him up: “Teacher, which command in God’s Law is the most important?”

Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s Law and the Prophets hangs from them.” (Matthew 22: 34-40 The Message)

C'mon people now...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pyk84fO57AQ

Peace,

BP

Beth Painter is, among many other things, a writer, photographer, and

motivational speaker. 

You can follow her on Facebook on the “Think Big focus small” page.

Beth is available to speak to your group about how to make your dreams and 

desires come to life! 

Some words are better unspoken...

This is my second video blog, and first without spoken words.

It is a bit rough, but considering I am recording on my tablet in one take, I think it is good.

I value your thoughts.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gb1pWWdhKEQ

You can also subscribe to my youtube channel to get notification when new videos are posted.

And if you are so inclined, you can support my channel by clicking on my name in youtube then clicking on the blue Support link on the right.

Cleaning, reorganizing...and my first video blog!

Is spring cleaning still a thing?

My Grandma always did it, and when she was unable her four kids - and their kids - gathered on Mother's Day weekend to clean her whole house. We washed walls and windows and curtains and comforters.

Did your mom or grandma do that? Set aside several days in March or April to wash everything in sight?

Some people find great satisfaction in a task like that. It's nice when  the windows and curtains are clean, and you know there isn't hidden dirt lurking all around.

I rarely devote an entire day, let alone several days, to nothing but cleaning. I do a little bit each day instead. There is a reason for that, but that is a story in itself for another day!

This video discusses cleaning and reorganizing. I hope you enjoy it. There is a Subscribe button so you don't miss future videos.

Thanks for watching and subscribing!

See you again soon...

BP

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRhn_K5Nui0

Beth Painter is, among many other things, a writer and motivational speaker. You can follow her on Facebook on the “Think Big focus small” page.

Beth is available to speak to your group about how to make your dreams and desires come to life! 

EAT A HOT DOG and how easily we misunderstand...

Years ago, a friend and I were in the car, iPod plugged into the stereo system, singing and laughing. The playlist shuffled to a song by Van McCoy. He was predominantly a songwriter and producer, but in 1975 he had a hit that went to #1 and won a Grammy.

We were both singing…

Do do do do do do do do do

Do do do do do do do do do

Do do do do do do do do do

Then my friend yelled, “EAT A HOT DOG!”

Me: (while laughing and choking) DO THE HUSTLE!

Her: What?

Me: Those are the words – Do the Hustle.

Her: REALLY? I always thought he said, “Eat a hot dog.”

You have been on both sides of that conversation, haven’t you? How many times have you heard someone singing along with Creedence Clearwater Revival…There’s a bathroom on the right.

After Taylor Swift released “Blank Space” she had to release a statement saying she was not singing about Starbucks lovers, but “all my ex-lovers.”

I still sing “Starbucks lovers” – I just like it better.

We laugh about song lyrics, and rightfully so. But a study released in January 2014 indicates the challenge is not only with lyrics.

Conducted through the University of Tuebingen by Claudia Beck, Bernd Kardatzki and Thomas Ethofer, the study determined the influence of alternative lyrics on the listener. The link for the study is at the bottom of this page*, but essentially there were three parts:

1.   Participants heard a bit of a song and rated their familiarity with it

2.   Participants heard the same part of the song but were shown alternative lyrics, then judged if they were familiar with the alternative lyrics

3.   Participants judged how strongly they heard the alternative lyrics as opposed to the true lyrics.

Two statements in the results jumped out at me.

1.   …previous knowledge of the alternative lyrics strongly influenced whether or not misperceptions occurred, which is in line with the reports of many of our study participants that induced misperceptions can result in long-lasting effects that occur each time the respective song is heard. 

2.   Interestingly, the occurrence of induced misperceptions was independent of knowledge of the original, but not of the alternative percept, which is in line with observations made in the visual domain for reversible figures demonstrating that we can get stuck in one interpretation until we are informed that there is an alternative interpretation.

Did you hear it? 

Induced misperceptions can result in long-lasting effects that occur every time that song is heard…every time those words are heard…every time that feeling is replicated.

Did you hear it? 

We get stuck in one interpretation.

So it isn’t just about Starbucks lovers, is it?

How many times have you said something and a person who knows and loves you well heard something completely different?

Yeah…lots.

But it isn’t simply the meaning of words. Often, it is what those words touch in us. 

If I grew up feeling nothing I did was good enough, I might hear harsh criticism when none was intended.

If I grew up feeling any sort of rejection from important people, I might be incredibly sensitive to what I view as rejection from others.

The hypothetical scenarios are endless – but the result is the same. Until I know myself well, and understand my emotions, the way I hear your words and the reactions I allow are LARGELY based on MY perceptions and MY expectations.

Same for you.

We get what we expect, what we firmly believe we will get, what we think about most, what we focus on often – whether we want it or not.

That isn’t psychobabble. It is truth. It is Biblical and it is also found in the teachings of every other esteemed master.

If I think about it long enough, if I focus on it hard enough, and believe it, I will get it...whether I want it or not!

If I decide I dislike a person or a situation, and I repeat that dislike to myself, I can be sure evidence will arise frequently. Then I say, “SEE!!!” and the cycle starts again.

Messed up song lyrics are funny. Messed up thinking patterns aren’t.

Read these words again…

We get what we expect, what we firmly believe we will get, what we think about most, what we focus on often – whether we want it or not.

It is my determined purpose to be more aware of what I choose to allow and how that creates my world, and less focused on “what you make me feel.”

Always with a smile on my face. Never in a morose, heavy-handed way.

Joy and well-being are everywhere. I get to decide how much I embrace.

Maybe you will join me.

EAT A HOT DOG!

Do do do do do do do do do

Do do do do do do do do do

We will talk again soon,

BP

*http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0084667#abstract0

Beth Painter is, among many other things, a writer and motivational speaker. You can follow her on Facebook on the “Think Big focus small” page.

Beth is available to speak to your group about how to make your dreams and desires come to life!