Day 1
There is a popular worship song
called “Your Love Never Fails” with this bridge:
You make all things work together for my good…
The last time we sang it in
church, that line made tears run down my face.
Today, as I type, there are more
tears.
My head knows it is true. My
heart is skeptical.
If you have followed my blog for
any time, you are familiar with ongoing financial litigation. One delay after
another. The end appears to be in sight, and another obstacle appears.
It’s like teasing my cat with a
laser pointer. I hold it still just long enough for her to pounce, then jerk it
away.
But this isn’t a game. People I
love are being hurt by the delay. I am being hurt, not only by the delay but by
the anticipation/disappointment cycle. I shout to God that I need it to be over...and it continues.
You make all things work together for my good…
On August 20, I made a bad choice
while riding a lawn tractor. The result was two partially amputated fingers and a deep cut on my palm.
I know it is a blessing to be
able to say this is the worst injury I’ve ever had. And I know, as numerous people have said, that it could have been much worse. My head knows that.
But when the swelling makes my whole hand ache, when I drop things because I forget the hand isn’t healed and will always
be less than what it was, it is hard to think “blessing.”
You make all things work together for my good…
I have allowed these things to
distract me, consume me, stifle me. I don’t recognize the person I see in the
mirror. I can’t sleep (VERY unusual for me) and can’t focus.
Relationships that matter greatly
to me have become strained.
My life feels like a bundle of
chaos.
You make all things work together for my good…
Not feeling THAT at all.
My dear friend Pat met me for
coffee today. We haven't talked in months. Was it a coincidence that I saw her on Sunday and made a plan to meet? Unlikely.
Pat knows me well. We don't do small talk, just get right to the important stuff. I caught her up on my life…told her I couldn’t see or feel where
God was in any of this.
She listened
intently, then lovingly said, “I see God all over it. I see that He is making a
path for you. It would be wise to take time, sit quietly, pray, be open. Then do what you know you need to do."
I told her my topic for these 31
days of October is Examining My Heart, and she smiled.
You make all things work together for my good…
My finances are a mess and every delay
scares me a little more…
You make all things work together for my good…
I am having trouble focusing on
my work, especially on writing my book…
You make all things work together for my good…
My heart hurts…
You make all things work together for my good…
This isn’t who I am or who I want
to be.
It seems 31 Days of Examining My
Heart is appropriate right now.
How about you? Do you have
trouble saying these words:
You make all things work together for my good…
Maybe you will join me on this
journey.
We will talk again tomorrow…
BP
I’m participating with The Nester
in 31 Days of Examining My Heart.
This is Day 1.
You can find all 31 Dayers here.
There are so many wonderful topics.
If you miss any days in the
series, you can find the introduction and each day's post here.
Beth Painter is a writer and motivational speaker. You can follow her on
Facebook on the “Think Big focus small” page.
Beth is available to speak to
your group about how to make your dreams and desires come to life!
No comments:
Post a Comment